Stressing/coping

I should be frazzled, but strangely, I'm not.

It's been one of those rough WTF kind of weeks.  Alden's last day of school, him getting beat up, and the police department.  Luiz's cousin is visiting tomorrow, Leah and Chris's housewarming party is on Saturday.  The foot still hurts like a motherfucker, the weather is still making me want to curl up and die.  Irv woke me at 6 am, frantic, begging the use of my car, since the tie-rod on his truck broke. The wheel essentially just fell off, as he was pulling out of the driveway.  No car today, no car tomorrow.  Worried about not having a car on Saturday, to drive to Tom's River.  No Irv to go to this party with me (more on that later).

My mother is complicating everything.  In a nutshell, the woman feels that everyone in the world has been put here to serve her in some way.  That, I sit in my house all day, waiting for a phone call, to rush over there, and fulfill some need.  In fact, she said to Alden "what the fuck is she so busy with, all she does is sit at home, on the computer, all day." Because that's what she thinks I do.  When she calls and tells me that all I do is sit on my ass all day, demands to know why I haven't stopped over, when she finds out that I have not been sitting on my ass all day... when she gets just a brief snapshot of the truckload of bullshit going on in my life, she simply slams the phone on me.  So empathetic, and sensitive, she is.  Truly a loving and heartfelt woman, this.  Her slamming the phone is a blessing, though. Means I don't have to deal with her bullshit for awhile.  Hopefully a long while.  Living 10 blocks away is too close sometimes.

This party is another sticking point.  I quickly agreed to going, I love Leah and Chris, and jump at the opportunity to hang out.  Throughout the week, I find out that this isn't some barbecue.  This is a by-invite-only Event. 75+ people, theye're registered somewhere, for gifts. There's going to be a tent, porta-potties, and the event is catered.  Cue social anxiety.  No Irv going?  Amp up social anxiety.  I really want to go, though.  So, I'm feeling anxious too, about the aspect of not going, because of Irv's truck.

I'm cool with Luiz's cousin visiting, been looking forward to meeting her. Mildly freaking out about the house, like I do with any overnight guest, especially one that's not been here before.  It'll be a relaxing evening, once it's here, after all the cooking and cleaning is covered.

I'm managing not to freak out though.  I'm getting through it.  One hastily dashed off note, one "on-the-fly" plan change, one phone slamming, at a time.