Ignore all that, below. It was a necessary thing for me to say. I can only carry such strong feelings around, for so long, without spilling them somewhere. If it must be read, it serves only to juxtapose how much overwhelming love I have for Luiz's Real Family.
Luiz's cousin Tatiana is a sweet, deeply insightful, intelligent woman, with two sons around Alden's age. Her mother is Luiz's mother's sister. She visited last month, and it was our first meeting face to face. We'd gotten to know each other a bit on Facebook, and of course she's heard all about me through certain other avenues (demonic bitch, that I am), so she had no idea what to expect, upon visiting here. She came anyway, and slept over, and we hit it off well. Lots of drinking and unplanned partying, and her visit was over too soon with a hangover, and promises to hang out some other time. It really did my heart good to see Luiz connecting with other members of his family, ones that accept him. He needs that level of support and love in his life, especially fighting the struggle with his mother.
Well, this time she visited and brought her own mother, Janis, and sons with her, for a slightly longer (and thankfully less alcohol soaked) visit. Tati knows about us, and in a surprising act of forthrightness, she told her sons about us, which I am so thankful and taken aback about. I mean, our kid knows, obviously, but most people shield their kids from diversity. I love that about her. Of course her mothers knows about us too, from hearing Eliane's (Luiz's mom) bitching about us. They came here, with an open mind, and open hearts, the same as I treat everyone I meet. It. Was. Wonderful. Our sons played perfectly together, her kids are so bright and well behaved, I couldn't pick better companions for Alden. Tati is a devoted mother, and it really reflects in her boys. She also brought us a cake that made me moan and warble and rendered me speechless. It might have even swayed me over to Team Cake. Alden is there visiting now, and I'm counting the days till Friday, and going to visit their house, and picking up my boy.
Janis (is that how I spell it? From here on out, I'm gonna call her Titia which is "Auntie" in Portuguese, I think) Anyway, Titia is a strong and crabby woman, and she's my kind of gal. She complains, and sort of ekes out her own place, roaming, asking questions, scrutinizing, naming, and making unedited commentary about everything that comes her way. In the first half hour, we learned that she hates animals, children, and fat people! And I said "you're gonna have a long night, lady" and we laughed. Lots of laughing. I saw a sort of challenging glint in her eye, upon first meeting us. Reminded me of another dear woman in my life, who I miss a lot, Mrs. Metz. Very forward and confrontational, and I love it. Give me an honest person, and let me handle that as I may. Apparently, I did well, because we got along great. I think, at one point, I said "no, you're not 'nice' but I totally love you!" and I meant it. Nice people can go bite a lemon. I have little patience with "nice" people.
I feel a measure of empathy for her, as she recently had a house fire, and lost all her worldly possessions. I can see it's depressing, but I can also see her moving through it, and earnestly trying to start a new life here. But here, these women, they've heard the worst things about us. They came here with Love in their hearts, for Luiz, and in return got lots of love back. We laughed, last night, and talked deeply, and cried real tears for things out of our control, and felt hope for things within. I say We, because there's much chemistry, and I feel like a lost cousin, myself. There's no awkwardness, Tati and Titia have made me feel like a member of this wild, vivid, passionate, and hilarious sisterhood of the powerful women that Luiz has been raised around. I felt tears, and a lump in my throat, when Titia referred to me offhand, a few times, as "niecy". I'm getting emotional just thinking back on it. My own family is small, and sometimes distant, so to be casually adopted into this one fills my heart with such joy, I don't even have words.
I also felt, as the evening dwindled to a close, a sense of melancholy. Eliane, this raving crazed thing, that Luiz has to face as his mother figure, was discussed at length. I felt, as though, the Sister that she used to be, one of this family of awesome Scarlet Women, has died, and we are left only with the ghost of her, wishing she were there, wishing she could share in our meal and laughter. It felt like the coming together and acceptance, and sharing of ideas, histories, cultures, that one would hope for any families meeting, like something a mother should be doing, not an aunt.
Perhaps there will be mending. Hope springs eternal.
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