So, I had a weird dream. I wasn't going to write about it but I decided to now.  It was another resort dream, only a bunch of us were all young, or sort of our age but younger feeling.  Like we were all working there in hospitality or entertainment "we" indicating here a blank faced mob of peers and friends.  We partied in an open air bar at night with people we thought of as "them" like there's "us" the help and "them" the patrons or guests.  One night, during the usual whirlwind of activity, you showed up.  If you're still reading this, you know who you are.  You probably quit months ago.  Anyway, there you were, under the bar lights. Wearing clothes that didn't look like you picked them out.  Wrong fitting baggy jeans, weird shirt, sideways baseball hat.  All the tags were attached, stickers on the jeans still.  But the clothes looked worn and grimy, sort of saggy and frayed, in need of a good washing.  You hadn't shaved in a while. Your skin looked waxy and pale, and you were covered with a sheen of sweat.  I felt concerned and ran up to you.  I took one of your hands in mine, immediately wrapping you in a hug.  In my dream, I murmured "I love you."  I needed to edit this and stress that this all happened in a moment.  In that moment, it felt exactly right, unhesitant.  I miss the feel of you, and it was bittersweet.  Then I woke up.

I'm going to close this page before I decide to delete this.

I keep thinking I've been writing a lot.  I check here and it's been two weeks.  Maybe I'm composing a lot.  There hasn't been much to speak of, lately.  Things have been quiet, a little weird, but mostly good.  The process is rolling with the house, and that always frees me up a little, mentally.  The house is clean and quiet, both literally and metaphorically.  All the weekends have been interesting, and a little busy, but not overwhelming.  I like January, so far.

I've been feeling younger, lately.  The cycle is rolling that way again.

I've been tackling writing lately like I doodle and draw.  I get this intent to fill up a page from corner to corner. Put it all out there, use every technique, get rid of all the white spaces.  That's how I used to go, and it became bigger than it needed to be.  Now I stop when the piece says stop.  Nothing's more interesting than rough edges and things left hanging.

2013 was interesting. It was a year of stagnancy, waiting, frustration.  It was also a year of high emotion, loving, fighting. I'm not going back over it.

I seldom make New Years resolutions. If I see a problem, no matter what part of the year it is, I aim to fix it.  But, some changes have been happening in December, and this is timely. So, in the spirit of the day, this is what's going on.

I vow, this year, to bring more art into my life.  Not just collecting, but creating also.  Lately, I've been hanging out with tons of artists.  Luiz is renewed, and on the verge of selling one of his big pieces.  That's a big thing, and his creativity in the house is refreshing.  For Christmas, Irv bought me a painting that I had my eye on. Luiz has a work in progress for me.  I actually got art supplies as gifts.  It's time.

Here's hoping I'll have new walls to display all this art before 2015.